Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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