I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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