Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
