Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
