we have pet lesbian snakes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
