he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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