Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
