I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
