Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
