I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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