Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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