I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
