dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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