Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My vagina just clenched in fear
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