just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Holy shit dude........stairs
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
