he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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