You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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