i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
