Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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