Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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