no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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