I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
