He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
