never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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