I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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