He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
