It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i now understand why vodka
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
