Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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