when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
