you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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