She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
