We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
