it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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