I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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