Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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