the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
