Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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