Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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