We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
