i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
