If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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