Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
