my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
