She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
this hospital has no fireball
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's even glitter on my cock...
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