she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
