I hate your face
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
