Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
