Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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