I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
