I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
