We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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