um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
