I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
