I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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