The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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