At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
