Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
